Regional Humour: Who Laughs at Whom

Bulgaria is small, but every region has its own character – and its own jokes. The best part is that the locals usually tell them about themselves, and with pride.

Gabrovo: misers by vocation

The people of Gabrovo are the heroes of the best-known Bulgarian jokes about thrift. The town has turned the joke into a brand: it is home to the House of Humour and Satire, and in May it holds the Gabrovo Carnival. Typical jokes:

• A man from Gabrovo stops his clock in the evening so the cogwheels don't wear out.
• When he isn't looking at anything special, he takes off his glasses – so they don't get worn out.
• They dock the cats' tails so the door shuts faster and no heat escapes. Details in the Geography part. We don't repeat ourselves – we economise.

The funniest part: Christo (Hristo Yavashev), the artist who wrapped the Reichstag and the Pont Neuf in Paris, comes from Gabrovo. He spent millions wrapping buildings and paid for everything himself. The least Gabrovo-like thing ever done by a man from Gabrovo.

The Shopi: stubbornness and self-confidence

The Shopi live around Sofia – in the Sofia, Pernik and Trun areas. They are known for their stubbornness, their great self-confidence and a distinctive dialect („леб“ (leb) instead of „хляб“ (hlyab), “bread”; „бело“ (belo) instead of „бяло“ (byalo), “white”). The classic joke:

A Shop goes to the zoo for the first time. He stands in front of the giraffe, looks at it for a long while, and finally waves his hand and says: „Нема такова животно!“ (Nema takova zhivotno) – “There is no such animal!”

Many people say that the Shopska salad is named after them, although historians claim it was created for the “Balkantourist” restaurants in the 1950s and 1960s. The Shopi don't argue. They simply know.

Plovdiv: the kingdom of aylyak

Aylyak is a Plovdiv word with no exact translation. It means slowly, calmly, without hurrying, with coffee and conversation, for pleasure. A Plovdiver is never late – he arrives at an aylyak pace. If someone from Sofia tells you that nothing ever happens in Plovdiv, the Plovdiver will reply: “That's exactly why we're here.”

Varna versus Burgas

The two seaside cities have been arguing for decades over which sea garden is lovelier, which beach is wider and whose fishermen lie more convincingly. The people of Varna say that Varna is the maritime capital. The people of Burgas say there is no need to say so, because it is obvious.

The northwest: self-irony squared

Vidin, Vratsa, Montana and Lom were for years declared by Eurostat the poorest region in the EU – and, according to everyone else, the richest in self-irony. Northwesterners have their own dialect and like to say that there “time stands still, but at least it stands still in a nice place”.

The Rhodopes: slow and wise

The people of the Rhodopes speak calmly, with many old words and sounds that other Bulgarians cannot understand without a translation. Jokes about them are usually about their slowness, but anyone who has tried to out-talk them knows: in the end the Rhodopean always wins. Slowly.

Sliven versus Yambol

The two towns are about 25 km apart – close enough to see each other, far enough apart never to admit they are alike.

• Sliven is “the town of a hundred voivodes” – it raised haiduks and revolutionaries such as Hadzhi Dimitar. Above the town rise the Blue Rocks (Sinite kamani), and the first textile factory in the Bulgarian lands was founded here (Dobri Zhelyazkov, 1834). Sliven is also famous for its wind – the local bora sometimes blows so hard that a hairstyle is merely a wish.
• Yambol is calm, flat and sits on the Tundzha river. It has the ancient Thracian city of Kabile, an old bezisten (covered market) and a kukeri festival where the masks are scarier than any wind.

People in Sliven say their wind is so strong it occasionally blows in a Yambol resident or two. Yambol replies that they only go to Sliven to see what a mountain looks like – at home everything is as flat as a table. Both sides are convinced they are right.

Lovech versus Pleven

Neighbours in northern Bulgaria, united by one shared history – the war of 1877 – and divided by everything else.

• Pleven has the Panorama “Pleven Epopee 1877”, a huge circular painting of the siege of the city, and Bulgaria's first wine-making school (1890). Pleven is the bigger town, and its people never forget to mention it.
• Lovech has Kolyu Ficheto's Covered Bridge, the Revival-era quarter of Varosha, and a great source of pride: Vasil Levski built his revolutionary centre here, which is why locals call Lovech “the Apostle's capital”.

Pleven says: “We have an entire battle in 360 degrees.” Lovech replies: “And we have a bridge with a roof – you can shelter under it from the rain and from people from Pleven.” And when, in the late 1990s, the football club Litex made Lovech champions of Bulgaria, Pleven suddenly discovered that football isn't all that important.

Varna versus Dobrich

Varna is already fighting a war with Burgas, but it has a second front – to the north.

• Dobrich is the capital of Dobruja, Bulgaria's breadbasket. Between 1913 and 1940 the town belonged to Romania (as Bazargic) and returned to Bulgaria under the Treaty of Craiova – without a single shot fired.
• People from Dobrich love to point out that Albena, Balchik, Kavarna and Cape Kaliakra are in their province, not Varna's.

Varna says: “We are the maritime capital.” Dobrich replies: “Yes, but the best beaches are ours, and your bread is made from our wheat. You're just closer to the airport.” Varna usually has no answer, because at that moment it is eating a Dobruja loaf.

Hitar Petar and Nasreddin Hodja

Above the regions stand two heroes known to every Bulgarian. Hitar Petar (“Clever Peter”) is the Bulgarian folk trickster – poor, yet always outwitting the rich, the priest and the judge (kadiya). Nasreddin Hodja is his eternal rival, shared with the Turks and half of the Middle East. In many tales the two outwit each other and nobody wins. Just like the Balkans in general.